Its unbelievable hard, that is true, and I find myself in a similar situation, but without kids. I can see how children make this situation so much more difficult, and puts a lot of pressure on you. You are here at these forums and you are learning and that is a major step, but it sounds like you know that its time to make the next, even bigger one. I say that because you seem to know what you need to do and that your trapped in your thoughts. I think GiveLove is right, small steps in the right direction. I wish you the best, your in my thoughts and prayers...