tennisgal,
I'm so sorry this has happened to you, as it's happened to me too. As a card-carrying member of the "I found a girl in his bed" club, I feel it in my bones and I'm so sorry.
You're in recovery, and it worries me that this is rattling your cage right now. Sobriety can be so fragile, and it would be such a shame if HIS lousy behavior were to push you over the brink. What can you do to make sure that doesn't happen?
Most of us here are not alcoholics (a few are, bless their souls) and so we may not understand your predicament as some would. Would you consider visiting some of the other forums on this site (the ones for recovering addicts/alcoholics) to gain support and strength right now when you need it most? Do you have a sponsor you can call?
You may "love" him but he is a liar, a cheater, a user, and a manipulator -- consider the possibility that your mind is not straight right now, and your heart is in love with something other than the person he really is right now. I'd suggest you take some time and really think about whether, when you were a little girl, you said "When I grow up, I want to fall in love with a drug abuser who lies to me, sleeps around, crashes his car, hits me with doors, has no responsibilities, and abuses my kindness at every turn. Can't WAIT 'til I meet him...." Sorry to sound so mean, but this is not a good person, drugs or not.
Sending you hugs and strength to get through this. Your life is -- YOU ARE -- much, much bigger than one person's stupid, selfish, dishonest choices.
