Could Someone Remind Me..
Could someone remind me...
-that it doesn't matter what other people think. If I'm unhappy it's ok to go
-that hitting me even once was and is not ok
-that not being on the same page about parenting and not being able to communicate effectively about that breakdown is not an ok way to raise a child
-that losing yourself to the tune of verbal abuse is not acceptable and you should find your way out
-it's not just the alcohol it's the behaivors that come with it
- 1 or 2 months good, doesn't make everything better..
-money is only money.. cut your loses and go
I've been reading a lot of threads today. All of which are reminding me of the wonderful things I've learned here, but have yet to impliment. I fear I'm falling not only into the victim roll, (but trying hard not to) but have completely lost myself. I just stay angry and on edge at home. The littlest things set me off. I feel like it's happening because I'm just so sick of being critisized at every turn that I just let everything tick me off. It's not healthy but I can't seem to control it. I spend so much time trying to tell myself, it's not that bad, it's getting better, it could be worse. Err.. I'm just so mad at myself for still being here and not having the courage to just leave. Why do I still think there will be a "right" time? I've read "Why does he do that" and many others, I see he fits these things to a T.. yet I continue to stay. I continue to be angry and have him make me feel like I'm the sick one.. I have anger issues. Well I'm sure I do.. I really need to break the cycle, I'm just so ambivilant. I know it's a dangerous place to be.
I guess I'm just looking for that broken record to keep playing until I truly get the point and save myself and my kids. Who cares if "it's not that bad". If I'm unhappy it's ok to go, it's my life and I shouldn't have to live it to please anybody but me. Now I just need to learn to play it through.