Thanks Tommy, for your response. My husband's infidelity almost destoyed me and Alanon was what helped me the most to get back on my feet. Three years later I'm stronger, but there are still scars. Betrayal cuts deeply. The other person must be hurting so badly inside to become so self-centered and to hurt someone who really cares for them.
I have learned that I am a pretty special person, in spite of my husband's rejection, and I have now many new hobbies. I have found out what my interests are, reading and music, and found new friends who perhaps have more of my interests. I have had to make decisions and tackle problems that came along in my life on my own. From these challenges, I have experienced mostly successes and thereby earned respect for myself. Self respect is so important. I really can say that I like myself for trying and not giving up on me....and having my higher power guide me.
I have also been able to truly thank a higher power who had to have been there through some of the life challenges that I successfully mastered pretty well these past years. Again, I could never have done them myself without the higher power. For example, I believe in miracles. A miracle can be as simple as having new friends and situations simply appear out of nowhere that help guide one through the darkness and help one see the sun again. You can't see that higher power but it's out there.....your soul feels the higher power guiding you...sending you help in various means.
I think that alcohol is like the devil.....it tempts us all. Some people just get hooked faster than others and then slowly the body, the spirit and then, if it isn't too late, something happens and some get a second chance at life and crawl out ot their hole. I guess that's called reaching their bottom.
I'm not a religious freak....I'm not a fanatic. I really don't talk much about my inner yearnings and hurts. However, I am opening up here because I think that if you are trying to recover, do the AA 12 steps. You can get better and will get better, but go to your meetings, every day if you have to, and slowly, it may take a year, two years or even more, but you will get out of your deep hole that you spiraled into!
Good luck to all of you....Alanon helped me and without them and their 12 steps (AA has same steps) I would have crawled in a hole and died.....spiritually and physically.
Thank you for all your advice and thoughts on infidelity and alcohol. I would still welcome comments from others on the subject.