Alanon also saved my life and my sanity...
I rememberd waking up one morning just wanting to take my life because I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I just couldent imagine life getting any better because of all the things my AH had done and what kind of person I had turned into trying to "fix" him and in our marriage.
I knew that I had three choices, I could take my own life and hurt everyone in my life in the process.. (I don't think I would have actually done it but the fact that I was thinking about it scared the hell out of me)... I could go to a Therapist and spend hundreds of dollers for her to tell me that I needed to go to alanon... and maybe prescribe me some anti depressents that may or may not make me feel better... and being that my AH was addicted to pills I did not really want to have to rely on pills to make me feel better.. or I could go to alanon..
I chose alanon and I'm soooooooooooooooo glad I did. I look at where I was 6 months ago and then I look at where I am now and I'm not even the same person anymore.. I wake up happy and grateful for everything in my life. My relationship with my HP is awesome and my relationship with my AH is better also.
After going to meetings for a few months my AH started getting his act together and he started going to his own meetings... I have no idea if he is working his program or not... six months ago, I would have had my hands all over it... now, it's none of my business.. I have a full plate trying to work my own..
GO TO ALANON... You have nothing to lose and nothing to fear... You will find the nicest, supportive and most understanding people on the face of this earth in those rooms... No one will judge you because we have all been in your shoes one way or the other..