I can relate. I've finally decided to give it up for good, regardless of my mood each day. I love drinking but I can see that I'm teetering on the bring between early and basic alcoholism and if I continue to drink, I'm choosing alcohol and self-destruction over everything else in my life: my friends and family, my daughter, my health, and ultimately my life. It's not worth it, IMO. No matter how much I love to drink, I refuse to give up everything else for it. I may feel like giving up or quitting quitting, so to speak, but I know that I can't. So I just take it one day at a time. Going one day without drinking isn't going to kill you... but taking that next drink might.