Hi Char!
First time I have seen your thread.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
The first minutes, days, month are the hardest. I am praying that you will get the help you want on the 30th. I promise it gets SO much easier! There are less and less triggers and what amazes me is that all the anxiety, stress, overreactions I used to have to ALL situations are not there anymore. I live in today and I can get through almost anything just for today.
We are all here for you, anytime. I am with Taz though. If you can't get to a meeting, continue to go to online meetings and pick up the phone and call the AA hotline. The folks there are just sitting there, wanting to help a fellow alcoholic. When I volunteer, I wish the phone would ring more so I could be of more service! It sounds like you are not going to get a lot of support from your immediate family. You will have to accept that and reach out for help from fellow addicts/alcoholics. There are a ton of us around!
Oh yeah, you make sense to us! There is nothing I am more proud of today than the fact that I am a sober Mom!