Is it too late to save the marriage? (new here)
I've lurked on this site a few times but I've never posted. This seems like a good place to throw out a dilemma I'm having. (this may be long. sorry)
Married 7+ years with two young kids. H has been sober since Aug this year. In a nutshell, his last drinking episode was the last straw for me. My boundaries were VERY clear. He crossed the line, and I said "that's it, we are separating".
H says "I will stop drinking, forever".
I really wanted to separate, but this is not financially possible. It's a long story...... I'm in graduate school and have two preschoolers. H cannot afford to support two households - especially with the economy in the dump.
Here's my dilemma:
H says he is committed to "doing whatever it takes" to salvage the marriage". He is seeing a counselor (although she is not trained in addictions work) and he did some reading about A. He is trying to give me physical and emotional space. We have two young kids we both adore.
Problem is: after his last episode I completely checked-out of the relationship. My boundary was crossed and that was it. Even though I recognize all his good qualities, I cannot imagine ever being "in love" with him again. Is this because my trust in him is gone?
How do people reconcile after years of unhealthy enmeshment, finger pointing, anger, and resentment?
Oh, and I tried an Al-Anon group here. It was bad.
Any thoughts? Thanks for reading.