Limerick37

Hi - I'm looking for any kind of advice/input... have posted here before so some may be familiar with my story. My sister is married to a longtime A who also uses prescription drugs (vicodin, oxycontin, methadone, valium). I am close to my sister's 4 children (ages 17 down to 6) but live very far away. I have not been close to my sister for a while because I have had to set boundaries for myself and my family. My teenage nieces have talked to me about what has happened over the last few years in their family (father very drunk/passed out, has not worked in 2+ years, money problems, strange behavior, etc.) and I think they see me and my family as a resource. Have tried to get them to AlAnon but they are committed to "keeping the family secret". We live 3,000 mis. away, but will be taking an emergency trip back home in 2 days because my aunt (last surviving family member of my parents' generation and a womn who never had children and so is close to both my sister and me) is critically ill in hospital and may not survive. SO my thoughts are focused on my aunt, but also on how I am going to deal with my sister and her husband...Honestly, I have a hard time being in the same room with him because of his past behavior, the way he treats my sister (or the way she allows herself to be treated)...my husband and I also do not want our kids (who are very, very close to their cousins) to sleep over at their house or be in a car driven by their Dad because I don't trust him, although he is (according to my sister) supposedly sober following a DUI arrest in early November. ANy advice on handling family relations during a very stressful time (I thinkmy aunt may die) when there is an alcoholic involved? If I thought he was sober - really sober - or if he tried to apologize for past negative behavior (and believe, there's been a LOT) - then I would be a lot more open. But I do not trust or like him. I resent what he has done to his chilren and my sister. Wordsof wisdom, please!!! Thanks in advance to all....