Hi all. I am new here and am so glad I found this site. Seems as though there is a lot of knowledge and experience here and I could really use some advice.
I have been married for 27-1/2 years. We have two grown boys, one in the AF and one that just graduated college. My husband was in the military for 20 years and that discipline apparently kept his alcoholism in check. However, since he retired 5 years ago, he has turned into a full blown alcoholic. He has been arrested for a couple DUIs, has been in rehab several times, makes his promises then breaks them (of course), and is out of work. We have his retirement and my paycheck, but we are in terrible debt and I see no way out. We went to a credit counseling place and they worked out a payment plan and got some of our creditors to drastically reduce the charges, but since he doesn't really help me that much in paying things (he always makes late payments or doesn't bother to pay at all), we just can't seem to get ahead. My credit is runied because of his actions. I am so tired of working and coming home and finding him drunk. He does cook....makes dinner every night just about....and he cleans when he is able to function, which is most days, but there are times (stretching several days at the least) where I come home and he is passed out because he's been on a binge and nothing is done.
I am going to school to get my degree (should have it by the time i'm 50 in August 2010) because the only way we can get this stuff paid is if I make more money...I can't depend on him, so when I get home I'm pretty tired. I have applied for a job in another part of the state that would require me to stay there at least 4 nights a week....I would get twice what I do now, and will get me away from him for a bit. Not only does he not work but he is home 24/7. He has no friends, no hobbies other than working in the yard, and never goes anywhere. He has lots of free time to think of ways to annoy and irritate me, which he seems to derive great pleasure from.
Alright....that's the background....now for the advice I need. I do know I want out of this marriage. I hate it, but nothing is going to change, and I want a partner, not another child. Life is too short and I would much rather live alone than to deal with this. So....any advice on, when we are in such debt, how in the world I can get afford a divorce? I have no money, no savings, no 401k, nothing. We have a home that he is more than welcome to keep....he loves it here and never wants to leave, so I really don't care. I would be happy to take our dog and go elsewhere.
(I actually already did that....I had left for a year and lived in an apartment with our dogs...that is what exhausted me financially. I moved back only after he promised to go to rehab, which he did.....for about a week. At times I feel the worst move I made was to move back, but in a way it wasn't because it just proved to me that I have done all I can.)
Anyway....thanks so much for 'listening'. Please anything you can tell me about being in debt and obtaining a divorce would be great.
Thanks!
