Rose56

Hi there, it has been a couple of years since I have posted here. This site was a lifesaver for me for a couple of years. And then I felt better, and life got busy, but now I am back.

So here it is, I am still living with my AH. But we are back in a down period for him and so I am feeling the pain very acutely. He had a job for a year and a half, and then this summer he started going to the bars again, several times a week. I just knew something was coming. And then in August he had a fight with his boss and quit.

Things go from awful between us to just ok. When they get to OK, I just ignor what bothers me and go on autopilet - not feeling anything. Then they go back to awful and my insides churn.

I feel pretty tired about doing this again. I don't want to just vent my story, I want to make my life better. So how can I do that? I have started reading the literature again, and I am impatient, frustrated that the changes have not come.

However, I feel closer than ever to the possibility of ending this relationship.

Please someone tell me that any of this makes sense?????????

I want you to know that I have been trying to get my life to a happy place, but I still struggle with separating with my AH. I feel so disappointed in myself, when will I get this right?