alcoholic brother - when to cut all contact?
My brother has been an alcoholic for over 30 years. In and out of detox, longest sustained period of sobriety is when I arranged for him to be put on probation for five years with mandatory drug testing. Did great for 5 years. That was 10 years ago, and since then, constant binges. Now he has no home, no job, nothing. Also has some potentially serious health issues. He lives 1300 miles away. When he is drinking, especially around the holidays, he calls and rambles on incoherently about all kinds of crazy stuff - his IQ is higher than mine; he was always the "responsible one"; he is the only one who can keep our family together. It is stressful and then he will usually say something which makes me furiuosly angry.
My question is: at what point is it okay to simply cut all contact? To not even answer the phone when he calls? My husband seems to think that I should not send him a letter telling him to just leave me alone "in case he commits suicide." Is my only alternative to him potentially committing suicide to continue to endure his nasty and rambling phone calls? I wouldn't take this from someone I was not related to.