I have one active alcoholic in my life now & several others in recovery including myself. I hear what you are saying though. My brother is trying to get off drugs & alcohol & I told him he could call me anytime he is sober without any alcohol or drugs on board. He hasn't called since July of this year.
He moved to Oregon now since I sold our family home...our Dad left it to both of us...what a mess that was...anyway he is with a friend in recovery for 10 years & close to his son who is 9 years clean & sober.
I have learned the hard way that I have to take care of myself first & monitor my stressors so I don't go on overload again.
My X-husband (2nd) did not want a divorce & called me ( I unplugged the phone when I got home from work) followed me around when I went places, came into our home when I was gone...had a restraining order but it didn't work if the cops didn't see him there) What a joke that was....I learned more from the neighbors...like his going through the garbage the night before it was picked up! He wanted to see how much I was drinking..
I still drank then but did not go out drinking unless there was a designated driver in my group of friends...or I took a cab.
I had a hard time quitting but wanted to be sober more than anything else in my life & now I have been sober 20 years....such a wonderful number....but still one drink away from the end if I were to pick up a drink.
Happy Holidays!!!!!!
kelsh