So sorry that you are feeling this way. I know what you mean about the "Loves Us". My hubby uses that all the time and I am just starting to not listen to the words and watch for the action. I guess their idea or Love and ours is different.
I tell him that Love is about respecting someone, caring for them and treating them with kindness. I said, that is hardly how you act when under the influence of alcohol. I do beleive that they Love US, I also beleive that Alochol can steal that Love from US and until they put down the bottle, Dr. Jehyl and Mr Hyde will continue to come out.
I try and read, go to meetings and come here to get me through. Have you tried Al-anon yet?
Take Care and try to have a Merry Christmas.