New to the group; nice to meet you all!
I'm not even sure where to start. Like many nights, there are a million thoughts going through my head right now.
I have been in a serious relationship with an A for just over a year now. Of course, it wasn't until roughly six months ago before I realized he was an A.
It was about 4 months ago when I found this website. I had done a google search for online alanon support one night after a huge argument and realizing I couldn't do this by myself anymore. I HAD to talk to someone!
And in the last 4 months of working the program I have made it through...... haha......Step 1. Maybe I'm not working it near as well as I should. I have yet to go to a F2F meeting though I've become a regular at one online. It helps. It helps a lot. But I still have so many questions and whatnot. I'm hoping to find that extra help, extra push that I need, here.
I love my BF with all my heart. And it hurts me so much to see him this way. But I've about had all I can take and have considered leaving many times, especially the last few weeks. I hold out hope that he'll realize he can't keep doing this and he'll take the step he needs to change. But I think that's part of where I'm going wrong. Because all I do is end up getting disappointed and maybe even angry with him.
So anyway. I guess I'll leave this little introduction at that. It's good to be here and I look forward to getting to know all of you and getting some much needed support.