Before I say this - I want you to know that years ago i was in the exact same type of relationship. What i've learned since that time is that when a man you love physically abuses you - it appears that the injuries are on the outside but the real injuries are to your self-esteem and that you may never recover from. You begin to think you did something to deserve it, you rationalize it, you start to loose confidence in yourself and you in turn rely on him to tell you that you are worth loving - this is his real control - he has you convinced that if you were only good enough he could love you and not have to beat you.
It sounds that you have lost a lot of self-respect. If you had self-respect would you want to be intimate with a man that just hours ago had physically assaulted you? 12 step would be great but also you may want to consider some one on one counseling - it made all the difference in the world for me.
What I know now is that my body is mine - it is the only thing I truly own and control in this world - only a man that has respect for me and my body will be allowed to touch me - that includes something as simple as holding my hand. If a man touches me in anger then he will loose all rights to ever touch me in any other way - it is not negotiable - it is not an offense that he can merely apologize for. Once I regained respect for myself and my body then I never allowed it again. I can also tell you that abuse is not something a man just stops doing - it doesnt stop, it intensifies. If you stay around it - especially if he has an addiction, then you can count on the abuse coming harder and quicker in the future. I didnt learn even after being hospitalized - it finally took him strangling me in front of my 3 yo son for me to get the point.
That's why when my son become physically agressive with me - he went to jail. He doesnt touch Mama anymore.