Christin, I don't think anyone needs to tell you that if you keep chasing this thing, eventually, it won't matter if you can or can't make time to deal with it. If you want real, concrete reasons to stop, I'm sure you'll find them somewhere around the corner.
It might not seem real to you now, and it may not happen for awhile. You could go on like this for years, hiding it and scheming to keep from running out. Eventually, the externals will become less and less manageable. Then, either voluntarily or against all wishes that things were otherwise, you'll have to deal with yourself.
And why shouldn't madriley or anyone else be nice to you? We can relate to what you're saying. We have found our common ground. None of us wish to see you suffer any more than you already have, Christin. We just want to help.
Peace & Love,
Sugah