Reminders
I've been sober for approximately 75 days now, and I'm still getting little "reminders" of stupid things I did when I was drunk, or just how much I was out of it and didn't even realize it. It's sometimes a little thing, like seeing a movie on the channel guide that I know I rented and watched (like "27 Dresses") but do not remember because I "watched" it while I was drunk. And my husband and kids KNOW I rented it, and will sometimes ask me what I thought (or - god forbid - somehow reference the movie and expect me to know what they're referring to) and I have to just play along because I can't admit I don't remember watching it.
Or, like tonight: I took what I thought was a container of curry sauce out of the freezer to thaw. Turns out my hubby already took the curry sauce out, so I was left to wonder what was in the container I had taken out. We open it, and he starts saying it must be this sauce that I made one night to go with some tuna. He's very clearly remembering and describing the dinner, and I'm drawing a complete blank. I had gotten very good at cooking fairly elaborate dinners while intoxicated (imagine what I can do sober!), so I'm not totally surprised that I don't remember this one in particular... but it really bothered me when it popped up today. Of course I had to play along like I knew what he was talking about, but I honestly do not remember it one tiny little bit.
Then there's my favorite - someone will reference an online post I made while I was drunk. *shakes head in shame* Oh my god, I can't believe some of the things I wrote. In public forums. Repeatedly. *sigh*
I just wonder how long this is going to go on. How much longer will these little "surprises" jump out at me? Maybe it's a good thing, though, because whenever something like this happens, it is a slap-in-the-face reminder of exactly why I don't need to drink again. I guess I need those reminders, though, because lately I've really been wanting a drink.