(((Courtney))) You've taken a very big step. Stay strong! I know it's hard- I am in the same boat with one dd and a STBXAH whom I am learning how to live without. It's been a year and a half since he left, and I can tell you it is getting better. It was so emotionally hard in the first year- a lot of crying, journaling and talking to some good friends and a great counselor have helped me through it. I had always felt it was better to stay with my STBXAH for dd's sake- until I thought about what I needed- an engaged, equal, loving partner- not the belligerent, impatient, lying, manipulative man I was living with. It was not a healthy marriage to model for dd. She lives with me, and we enjoy our time together so much more. I make an effort to focus on me and on what she needs. I don't badmouth STBXAH with her, and have always told her I am here to listen. She is sad, but I believe she is also thriving from my full attention, and I am getting healthier every day- she needs that. While I was with STBXAH I was as sick as he was- stressed out, frustrated, angry, tired and impatient. My life feels more peaceful now. It's still hard and sad at times, but I know I am much better off. My advice is to be patient with yourself. Al-anon meetings have helped me, counseling, this forum, good friends and family. Good luck!