Jamzky

Thanks for the support everyone.
I am doing fine. Had therapy again today. I don't count the days I am sober. I am worried that might become a fixation cause I am already an anxious person who gets obsessed easily, not great for addictions! But I live each day as it comes. I am surviving and it is just nice to do that. This sober world is quite beautiful really once the withdrawal has gone. You start to see clearly again, smell the roses as they say. Little moments of light come when I think about never having to worry about having drink in the cupboard or in my bag. Knowing that as it is not an option then I have already found a kind of freedom. Freedom is an important word for me.
That anxiety about running out of drink with me was terrible! I take pleasure as I can in the little things on a daily basis. I sometimes get "flashbacks" of myself drinking or think about the taste of drink from time to time but it never becomes a desire. Still I am careful. I stay with myself, not get lost by the excitment of christmas or the usual anxiety.
Felt like the hospital experience was a bit of a trauma and the break up with my girlfriend. So I need some time just being in the world in a quiet, sober and supported way.

J