Welcome to SR.... So glad that your here and willing to share with us.
I hate it when they use the kids (of course today I hate that I did in my way too).... and I dont know if this is going to help you or scare you... but I can only share my experience.
When I left my "first" alcoholic husband... (yes first, and I will explain) and he knew I was serious he did everything and I do mean everything in his power to make my life a living hell.... he did not want to loose his enablier and would move heaven and earth to keep me in place... including using our 2 year of daughter for his purpose. It go alot worse before it got better and to be quite honest, today I believe that is my fault as well. However then I did the best I could with what I knew to do. There was one night that he brought my daughter home (it seems alcoholism was not a reason for the court to refuse visitation then) and explained to my 2 1/2 year old that he did not know if he would ever see her again because her Mother would not come home and would keep our family apart. After I got her and shut the door and locked it he stood on the other side pounding and crying ... calling my daughters name. She in turn threw herself against the door, hurting herself but not caring, and layed on the floor trying to peek out the space in the bottom crying... this "challenging moment" last 2 hours.
Now there are many things I "could" have done, called the police, restraining order etc... but at that time I did not for soooo many reasons. If there is any part of my experience I can share to help you with this transistion.... It would be to "PLEASE" get a support group. I would strongely suggest Alanon, but anything is better then nothing.... Church Group, Abused Women Group (yes your abused) etc. The reason I suggest Al-anon so much is because what your going to learn there and the support you are going to receive is going to change your life if you let it.
Remember I said my "first" Alcoholic Husband. I have had many many alcoholic relationships before and after that first one.... Today I believe that if I had stayed in Al-anon when I was first lead to it... I would not have had to repeat that lesson so many times. There is a reason Im attracted to Alcoholic or unhealthy men and I had to do alot of growing and changing before I was ready to be in a healthy relationship.
I wish you only the very best.... and look forward to getting to know you better. There are some really good books out there that can help... Co-dependence no more is a great start. Check out the list of them up top.