Maggiemac

As you all know my son Jason in dead from a drug overdose. I am sitting here like everyday since his death thinking of him missing him and crying. This Christmas will never be the same for me without him singing, laughing, and just kidding around. I keep asking my self should I have done something different with him and he would have never turned to drugs. When he was hungry I fed him, when he had no home of his own I gave him mine, when he needed clothes I bought him clothes, If he needed money I gave him money, when he needed a car I got him one. He had all my love and his dads. I sit here asking God why why why. Maybe I shouldn't have gave him anything if he needed something he was 39 go and get it yourself if you had money for drugs then buy clothes. I was so used to giving and giving to him I just did it.He was able to get clean he did it once all he had to do was tell me and his dad he needed help again.
One thing that I didn't tell you was my son has a son 17years old. He lives with me and his pap. Years ago when Jason's wife left him and Danny I took Danny his dad was working painting mostly out of town. Danny was in 2nd grade. I ask Danny if he wanted to go and live with his mother he said no. So he has been with me ever since. Once he wanted to go to live with her but in a month he called and wanted to come home with me and pap. Danny and his dad were very close Danny know a lot of things about his dad that I didn't know. He is taking this death hard to even his mother is trying to help him with his sorrow. So this year will not be the best Christmas but as we heal from all of this I hope days and nights get a little better not just for me but for my husband and Danny. God only knows the plan for us 3.
Loving and missing my son Jason
Maggie