I always drunk because it helped me deal with myself and what i thought was my life, you know life's hard etc. The humdrum of going out with friends, cinema, usual day stuff was not for me, couldn't understand how people did not just blow their brains out, instead i would be racing from gambling to bars to the liquor store etc. When i drank i would be able to listen to music and dream about all the things i wanted to do and wanted to be, and always at the end of the night i would promise myself not to drink the next day and start fulfilling all my dreams...it never happened.
Just 2 months without a drink, and i guarantee this only works with total abstinance, i listen to the same music and i think about my future and know, now, that all my dreams are in the palm of my hand and i can do whatever i want and achieve whatever i want. I probably am doing things that the drunk me would laugh at like posting here with my headphones on a sunday morning, going for drives, looking round shops, reading, watching my favourite films, speaking to my one friend etc. but i have never been happier.
So if you think life is boring you still do not get it and no-one can help you with that but you, I wish i could make you see though and hope you get it sooner rather than later:-)
My father was a drunk, one of these who would never dream of going to AA, posting here etc...he's a very proud man you see?! He cut down drinking when he was about 40, i see him every few years, he has a new wife with my nutty but lovely step brother, lives in his late Mum's bungalow, wouldn't know what to do with money if you gave him some! I remember a few years ago watching him 'control' his drinking, which for an alchie he has done successfully i guess, he drinks his 6 well deserved drinks and then he tootles off home at closing time (goes out at 9pm so he can't drink more) still talks the same sh** as before about life, we are all here to propogate the species, life is boring, no man is an island but him etc. he is 64 now...still doesn't get it! Still without a pot to p*** in moaning about all the rich people and how everyone has got it better than him and if only....
You deserve not to drink/gamble/use and to have a great life and it does not matter how much money you have or what you do, you do not deserve to have the crap associated with the want/need for anything in your head continually tainting your, what should be, fun and enjoyable existence and you do not need a list of things to do ,as if you are honest with yourself, you already know what you want to be doing.
I can't count the amount of men i met down the bars with a drink in their hand telling me about how their drinking had got out of hand for a while but now they limit themselves etc. and even when i was listening unsteady, slurring a response, wondering if i should end it all, i could not help thinking god don't ever let me be one of them!
So no more booze, get help here and in the many other places available and if you find life boring why not run round the yard screaming like a banshee patting yourself on the head whilst rubbing your stomach naked, whatever it takes for you to see that it is not!!!
Good luck:-)