I knew he had a drinking problem when we first met. He was only 18. I got pregnant 2 weeks after we met. I dumped him 2 months later because of drug and alcohol abuse. I din't see or speak to him until my son was 7 months old. We got back together and it was pure hell!! He was still drinking and doing drugs. I suffered from emotional and verbal abuse and if I had stayed probably physical abuse. I became pregnant with my daughter and left him when I was 4 months pregnant. Getting away from him was hard...had to get restraining order and then filed stalking charges agaist him. He was unable to see the children for 1 year because DFACS got involved. I NEVER in my life thought I would get back with him. He started seeing the children again and I could tell he had changed alot. He had a steady job for almost a year, was not drugging anymore but still drinking (not heavily). We wre engaged for a year before we got married, he did well. Drank only occassionally and it wasn't an issue or allowed in my house. After we got married it changed, he changed. The last 2 years have been bad. He doesn't verbally abuse me anymore but the drinking has taking over our lives. He drinks almost a 12 pack a night. He pisses in the bed and floor and doesn't know it. Everything we do revolves around his drinking schedule (4pm). He's been gone 3 days now. I'm still numb. I do love him and wish he was different but have come to realize I can't help him. Only he can. My kids are what breaks my heart...I'm crying as I write this because I had to explain to my 5 and 7 year old that Daddy isn't going to live here anymore and I can tell the kids are upset. Then I have him using the kids to get to me. I turned my phones off tonight cause I'm mentally exhausted and I'm so afraid that i might let him come back and I know he is just manipulating me again. It seems the longer I've been with him the harder it is to let go. I cAn for sure say I've given him plenty of chances. Thankls to everyone for listening. I honestly didn't think I would feel so bad about this. I was so looking forward to him leaving. I guess it will take some time.
Courtney