Avalanche,
It sucks that we can't drink. I hate it. And I fought off the surrender to that fact for so fricking long. I totally know how you feel. I want to be someone who can drink. It was a big part of my life. I loved really good wine. And, frankly, I didn't really know how to be me without alcohol.
It took an enormous amount of suffering for me to finally get it. And, truthfully, my family suffered more than me. That's what finally got to me. One night, I saw the contempt in my husband's face.
Each of us has to reach that place on our own. No one can do it for you. You have to finally get to the place where the suffering that you experience (either directly or indirectly) from alcohol is greater than the pleasure you experience. And then, from there, you're basically home free. I've said this before but I'll say it again. I would no more pick up now than I would take out a pencil and gouge my own eyes out. It would be the equivolent action. That's how clear my understanding of what alcohol did to my life is.
I think taking it one day at a time is really helpful. Sometimes essential. But I don't think I could've done it without totally and completely reaching that place where I understood how harmful it is for me.
Anyway, I don't know if that helps you at all. Just know that I support your efforts. I'm glad you're here. And I hope you have success in your goals.