Hello, Marine. It's great you found us & you will definitely find help here. We can sympathize with how you feel, when others around you can't. It's great that your wife understands the disease - that's half the battle. I feel my family still considers it a character defect.
You mentioned watching the game without drinking. We really do almost have to learn to live again in a new way-our old habits die hard. At first everything seemed so flat to me - but I just had to get used to feeling and thinking like a normal person. Being anesthetized all the time isn't really living. You are young, and can turn this all around - your body will heal and your children will never have to be victims of this disease. Please let us know how you're doing.