again, thanks for all the replies. i did get myself tested and fortunately everything is ok.
cessy- i appreciate the frankness in your reply. usually i am drama free, so when you ask "if a strong healthy, sexy, fun, intellegent woman who didn't NEED you or cause you drama was in your life, what would you do????" ...i'd be happy!!! i guess i let her back in my life thinking there could have been a change, but i feel myself being sucked back into something toxic or just not what is right for me. i just really dislike hurting someone and i know this will hurt her.