Long story short – I heard from him over the weekend. Answered his FIRST call (unavailable #) – he says it was wrong number and he was sorry for calling me but still has me on his #1 speed dial. I said ok and hung up. However, he kept calling back and I kept hitting ignore. Then while I was out with friends at a bar listening to a band – I started drinking and drunk dialed him back and as far as I can remember – I gave him a piece of my mind. He kept telling me that he still loves me and that was hard to hear. Yes I drank way too much so I can’t really remember everything I said but I know I used the “f” word a lot and I’m pretty sure he was crying by the time we hung up. I just hope that I didn’t tell him that I loved him – that makes me sick at my stomach to think about.
Today I’m depressed and I feel like I’ve take a few steps back. I am almost 6 months out from this and was doing SO well. Yes I’m still in love with him but I was doing what was right for me to move on and past it all. Now this! I’m back to feeling hurt, sad, pi$$ed and depressed over him and am even having moments of MISSING HIM. YUCK.
Please anyone that is struggling with “no contact” – BE STRONG! Don’t give in….it’s SO not worth the heartache. Try to learn from my stupid, inebriated mistake!
