thanks beagle baby, that really makes sense. i think it is partially because of guilt and partially because i am one of the few life lines.
it hurts so much. although i know we cant be together due to our (separate) issues right now, i really just at least wanted him to want me in the same wy. i jsut cant be his friend the same way you couldnt. it hurts. it feels like he doesnt understand why icouldnt be a better more fun girlfriend . which i couldnt. i wish he atleast wanted to try to work on it, but i know hes doing me a favor by not.