just looking for support
I was sober for about 5 years. Well about 4 months ago I picked up. I just can't seem to get on track. You know this disease is just in there sleeping until you feed it, and it is out about in full force. I am not drinking everyday yet. The anxiety I have the day after drinking is enough to keep me from drinking for a few days. But then about day 3 or 4 I will start to have cravings. They are so horrible. I think about where I was 5 years ago (a nightmare) how I never want to be that again. The anxiety I will have the next day, how I really don't even like how alcohol makes me feel. But that craving always wins. My heart starts beating so fast, my stomach is in knots, all I want is that drink.