I know - there's a million reasons why you can't. I was just like that.
But as Anna said - this is yr life here - nothings more important than that.
It took nearly dying for me to realise that.
Don't go that far.
I know Carol D has mentioned Salvation Army free detox...there must be things like that around.
It's not great I know - I'm sorry - it sucks to get to the point where no choice looks good....but getting sober is the only way of getting out of the crapfest.
I've been there. I got out. You can too.
But you can't go on like this. Keep this up and, at best, you'll lose all the stuff you say you can't lose anyway.
D