Originally Posted by
houston28 
My wife is the primary care giver for the kids and I am the primary bread winner......She is a wonderful mom when she is sober but I can't trust that she will be sober for any extended period of time.
This strikes me as the key issue.
Lots of people get divorced - they stop loving each other, realize they never loved each other, meet someone new .... whatever. It's tough under "normal" circumstances, but divorcing someone with an alcohol problem brings it's own unique set of challenges - many of which center around childcare issues.
Let's get practical.
What can you do to take care of your kids, without relying on her ability to stay sober (since she doesn't seem to be able to handle that)?
No matter how great a mom she is sober, she isn't sober. That means right now she's dangerous.
Do you have family in town who could help out with the kiddos?
Can you look into after-school care programs that could keep the girls until you're done with work?
Pre-school for the 4 year-old?
A reliable college student to act as a pseudo-nanny?
I know it feels overwhelming.
I had to hire a babysitter for my four year-old, even though his alcoholic father
was at home!
Once the urgent childcare issues are sorted out, you'll be in a better place to make other choices about living arrangements, etc...
If she chooses to continue drinking, and you need to prepare for a custody hearing, I'll tell you what my lawyer told me:
Take pictures of empty bottles.
Record conversations about alcohol.
Keep rehab receipts and insurance records.
I'm sorry that you're finding yourself in this difficult situation, but I'm glad that you're here.
Take care and keep posting.
-TC