Originally Posted by
inahaze 
Hi all, new here but not to the run around love you today, hate you tomorrow stuff.....
He believes that he's a good husband because he pays the bills in his head. He just leaves out the late payments, mismanaged money, and the debt he dug us into a couple of times.....
The attitude that yours gave you about not doing this any more, that he wants a divorce or that you did something supposedly...It's all a load of bull just to make him feel better and put him in line to "make you feel better" later. He'll give a great apology later, make you feel like he'd do anything in the world for you and how you're the love of his life speech. More than likely you'll buy it, most of us have, and it'll be great for awhile. Everyone's time frame is different, 1 wk, 1 month or even 6 months...it'll come back though because in his head nothing is wrong with him.
T
You may be new here, but I think you have a great perspective on things. I've been dealing with this for years also. Just as recently as this past week. AH recently relapsed after 4 mos. sober, of course, I am to blame, the kids are to blame, life is to blame, but not HIM. If it makes him feel better, I just let him say it and ignore it. He sobered up kinda for Thanksgiving, day after, well on his way to drunkeness again. And of course, the "it's over, I'll be moved out by March" Did this all weekend, tired of me and the kids treating him like crap when he "does everything for us and took care of us all these years" (except for the fact that he's been unemployed since May, and I've been the sole provider LOL). Now, as of this morning, he loves me and is gonna get this whole thing under control as long as I realize that he is gonna slip sometimes. QUACK QUACK QUACK! I am making plans for me, let him quack all he wants, and boy, will he be in for a rude awakening in a couple of months. I learned in Alanon that whatever they say to you, just realize that they're really saying it about them, and you'll be able to deal. It takes practice, but you gotta fake it till you make it.