outtolunch----I meant that this whole situation that is OUT of MY control, everything is as it should be according to the path that GOD has led me down. I have finally decided that the only way to move forward is to forgive, accept that this is the way things are and that for now its ok for me to look back for him. Maybe when I look back he will still be in the same spot or maybe he will be right by my side. Its not for me to decide that. That is now in GOD's hands. I give up trying.