I lurk around here a lot and I know you have had a time of it too. You have been in my thoughts. I think accountability is important and what I like about this site is we can admit to our failings and get support. I read people's posts all the time and read the advice they get and I don't have a clue why we continue to do things that make us feel bad. I am almost afraid of the answers at this point. I wish you luck in your journey towards sobriety and I thank you for your thoughts.