I had to re-read that, bv. Thought you had come off the sub equivalent of 10 bags of H and found it "unpleasant". But it was a bit less than that, lol!
((Bella)) You are not a sucker, you love an addict. Give him the one more chance you need to give him. I think you need to do that so if you look back on this, you know you did the best you could.
If the chance doesn't work, it is time to let go. Easier said that done, I know. But it's not going to get better for you. He has to do this himself and no power on earth, including his love for you and your love for him is going to do it for him.
I feel for you - I've been in the same position. It's pretty hopeless and despairing, I've got to say. LB xx