I have found that the best way to have serenity in my life is to accept what is.
Try not to obsess what your ex is doing or not doing for now. We learn in al-anon to keep the focus on ourselves. Just focus on yourself and what you are doing or not doing.\
He is prob. not a good influence now anyway.
Focusing on your own character defects and bringing about change in your own life will have the most positive impact on your kids. The healthier you become the less likely you
are to choose a third man who walks away from his kids.
WE only have the power and control to change our own life; this is what I have learned.
It is easy to see the character defects in an addict, but when we become reflective in our own lives and do the work ourselves from all the things we need to recover from, this is when real change can happen.
I use to choose emotionally unavailable men that had issues. The only control I had
was to heal myself and as I became emotionally healthy, so did my choices.
Change may come, in its own time. Be patient and release expectations.
Addicts are selfish as the nature of the disease. Addiction messes up the frontal lobe of the brain.
My son is in his 9 mo. of rehab. He is just now making amends. He is just now capable
of having feeling about others.
Every person takes their own route to enlightenment...or not. What others are doing
does not have to effect our desire for enlightenment.
I wish I would have gotten into therapy and al-anon when my son was young, instead of waiting until he was 18. His dad is a real piece of work. I have no control over that.
These are tough times for you. There is lots to be said for a support group that can be a blueprint for our own journey.
How wonderful that you have three children. You have many blessings.