Hi and welcome to SR, you're in the right place! When I finally had the courage to leave after 24 years of living with my AH (I'd left previous times, he was in and out of rehab) I had to work on myself in order to become whole again.
Reading the posts and stickies on SR, therapy, and a great support system within my friends have helped immensely. It hasn't been easy, I've had some terrible gut wrenching days but I'm still here and better than ever.
Welcome and I hope you find peace. K.