WELCOME!! Take a deep breath, there is so much to learn......most of it about yourself I have found. There are the "stickies" at the top of the list of threads that have a ton of information. Although I don't have personal experience with Alanon, so many people have been helped there. I personally have found counseling helpful.
The hardest thing for me to accept, and I still struggle with on occasion, is that I can't change anyone but myself. I posted a lot when I first found SR and got lots of love, support, and advice. Everyone will be coming at it from their own experiences, and you will probably run across a few members that you can really relate to, or have much in common with.
I've experienced the same "cycle" of drinking with my AH, until the past year or so when it increased to daily and he just kept getting angrier. If your AH is that controlling that he would limit phone use and car, I would suggest having a plan to get out in case things escalate to violence. Probably something you don't want to consider, and hopefully you will never have to use it. I had a friend that used to keep a change of clothes, toothbrushes, etc. in a bag in her trunk "just in case". Maybe you could stash an extra booster seat somewhere.
Anyway, not to get long-winded.......I bet you will get many great responses. Keep posting. We care here!