lost girl...
My husband has a drinking problem. It's like this horrible cycle. He stays out until 11 or 12 and gets drunk; he stays home the next night, but doesn't move from the couch. This makes me angry, and I am not nice to him when he is home, so the next night he goes and gets drunk. And it repeats over and over and over. We used to party together. We used to talk. We used to have so much in common. Now we have a 3 year old, and I don't feel like I can have one drink at all without being a hypocrite. I don't have a problem with drinking. But I don't even want to drink because of what it is doing to my husband, my marriage, my self-confidence, my daughter, our future. I have told him that I feel neglected. He went and got drunk. I told him that we needed to talk; he went camping and got drunk, went to a football game and got drunk, etc. Am i making him drink? Am I making him choose alcohol over me and our daughter? I feel like this is my fault. All of it. I have tried to lay down some rules, but all that does it make him retaliatory. And then I get hurt more. He took my cell phone, password protected the computer at home, he leaves with our only car seat. I used to be so strong and confident. My friends don't even call anymore because I can never keep our plans as I don't know if he is coming home or not, or how drunk he will be when he gets there. I feel so cheated, and well, just plain lost. How did I get here? It's like I woke up one morning, and I am "that" girl. How did this happen? I'm that girl that people feel sorry for, and I don't know how that happened. I am not financially able to leave, and being a child of divorce, I do not want that for my daughter. I just don't know how to get through to him. I don't know what I am supposed to do, and I certainly do not know how to fix this.