OUCH!! Great post!!
Yes, I think a particularity of alcoholism is the ability for shock and surprise as someone else said. That is what brings you to your knees. I fell for about 4 times and after that it was enough! it is just the game of two selfish people / the addict and the martyr. Enablers and codependents are just thinking about how the addict will change back to the "sober wonderful version" and make US happy (in some level). The pain is greater for enablers or at least it seems so, as she remembers all that was painful, whereas the addict does not even remember many of those horrible moments, and he is just numbing himself until ....
A very, very sad dance.