New here and need some help
I'm a recovering drug addict, I used everything I came across but heroin's the thing that really got me to my lowest and what i still have the most trouble staying away from. I first got sober May 30th but relapsed, been sober since Oct. 22nd now. I'm in a twelve step program right now, I've learned a lot, I can keep myself sober by keeping myself around people who hold me accountable and avoiding situations carefully, but I've never really consistently felt happy in sobriety. I talked to my sponsor tonight and it brought up an issue which I've struggled with for a while now: I feel completely passoinless about most everything and generally emotionally numb, even without the drugs i seem to have gotten myself to the almost the same mindset I had while using, I don't care strongly about anything, the only thing keeping me from going back out is some part of me that trust that I really can be happier sober and won't let me give up on that yet.
this is what lead to me relapsing, I wasn't planning to use or even thinking about at the time, but as soon as I found myself in a part of downtown where I used to buy dope I didn't care enough about my sobriety or the bad things that I know will come back if I started using again to put up a fight.
Right now I just want to have some passion for something, but I need help finding that.
Much Love