Kind of what I was getting at. If you have children together and he wants to be a part of their lives, you will be dealing with an addict (recovering or using) for a long time. And Alanon helps SO much. My 1st husband was sober 8 years and we both went to meetings 3 times a week. I met a woman in Alanon who's alcoholic had died 4 years prior. She went on to marry a man who never drank, yet she still went to meetings because she had been affected by alcoholism. And like Marle said, it might help you discover why you were attracted to an addict in the first place. I know it also has helped me as my children grew up and I began to see "addict" behavior in both of them long before they touched a drink or drug. And they have both started to go down that path, but with the help of Alanon and AA and being a part of those programs for SO long, I knew the "best" way to handle it when they decided to try that life.