sweetie, the kind of help he needs, you can't give him. That's NOT said to put you down at all. It's just that someone who hasn't LIVED through an addiction just isn't capable of understanding what addiction does to someone.
I get a tremendous amount of strength and support from the people on this forum. My codependency and addiction are so interwined, that if I slip in the codie area, I'm in a dangerous area with my addiction, but that's just me. I also have wonderful friends, here, who are RA's (recovering addicts). THEY are the ones who help me when I get a "using thought" for no darned reason.
The greatest thing my family did, for me, was to go on with their lives. Yes, they love me, and yes, I hurt them really bad. But to watch THEM keep putting one foot in front of the other and deal with life, it reminded me of what "normal" was and gave me something to strive for. In all honesty, if I'd been around them (I was 2 hours away) and saw them sitting around, wringing their hands and crying over my actions, I would have felt MORE like crap about myself, and would have used to get over those feelings. That's the only way I could think of to deal.
We A's just don't make sense. I can't believe the things I did, but I know I did them. No one, who is not an addict, can truly understand.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy