As I was reading some of the posts here,(mainly the ones that are short, sweet and to the point)I was reminded of some of the things I've done at meetings throughout my sobriety.
I remember one time as I was speaking at a meeting, I dropped the "F" bomb. As I was walking back to my seat, my sponsor, who had been chairing the meeting said something like, "the program of Alcoholics Anonymous enables us to not only clean up the wreckage of the past, but also our mouths!" I don't believe I've made that same mistake since. I have to remember from whence I came. When I walked into a bar for a good time, it wasn't uncommon for me to announce to everyone there that I had arrived. Good manners was not my strong point so interupting conversations was the norm. When I came to AA, cell phones were the size of a brick and weighed four pounds so they weren't carried around in one's pocket, as much as they were trucked around. Although the AA program hasn't changed in the past 31 years or so, I see that the people coming to AA have changed. The attitude of Easy Does It isn't pressed as much as it was. I rarely hear "Let God and Let God". Consequently the faster, easier softer way seems to have more prominence. Whereas new folks were referred to pigeons(to quote Dr. Bob), nowdays new people are called sponsees, so as not to offend. Whereas I was told to sit silent, take the cotton out my ears and insert it in my mouth because I had nothing to say, nowdays people are offended at the idea that their ideas about getting sober and staying sober after one or two meetings, need to be kept to themselves because they know nothing.
I've actually had people threaten to leave AA and not come back because they feel uncomfortable with the "God" stuff, and they don't like how people treat them. My answer to them is this. If you're an alcoholic and you belong here, where are you going to go? Back out to the people, places and things that were killing you? Good luck, and have a nice day. These are the things I was told when I first came to AA. The question, "do you want to drink some more" was asked of me on more than one occasion. The choice was mine.
Don't get me wrong. As the Big Book says, "I'll learn the true meaning of love thy neighbor as thyself" is not wasted here. However, I've also learned that people can be killed with kindness....literaly, and sometimes the most loving thing to do is just be honest and teach the people who we perceive to have bad manners, the correct conduct in an AA meeting instead of getting upset at the fact that these people are in a new environment, 180 degrees opposite from the one they've been used to. The problem is, I find it kind of uncomfortable to instruct someone in a civil manner, rather than being confrontive. I have to practice that as well.