Originally Posted by
doorknob 
I can't help but wonder but what I am. I've seldom drank enough to be considered a hard drinker, except for the occasional one night binge. I've never become physically dependent to the point of having serious physical withdrawal. I have had DUI's and blackouts (it doesn't take a whole lot for me). But, I, for the most part, drink a few beers (spread throughout the day) every day and haven't been able to quit for a very long time. I'm also a pot addict. Atheism aside, I have to wonder if I belong in AA at all, or if I'm just one of those MOTR people.
Dk,
Please take a look at the book. Read the Doctor's Opinion. It speaks of an allergy to alcohol manifested in the form of a phenomenon of craving for more alcohol, when the alcoholic drinks alcohol. In other words, can you control the amount you take when you drink?
Then take a look at Chapter 2. There are three types of drinkers that are described. The moderate drinker, who can take or leave alcohol. Then there is a certain type of hard drinker. This guy looks a lot like a drunk. And sometimes acts like one too. He'll end up in some of the same places like treatment centers. He might go to jail once or twice. He might have physical problems and even up in detox. He'll get DUI's. He'll certainly end up in AA meetings. But give him a good reason and he'll stop drinking or moderate. He can take or leave it because he doesn't have an obsession of the mind coupled with an allergy of the body. And he doesn't need the same solution that the real alcoholic does. For him it's not a life and eath matter. For him the problem is drinking alcohol, stop drinking problem solved. He is the type that you see in AA that loves the social aspect of the fellowship and maybe does a little service work to enhance the socialbility. These are the middle-of-the-road types I was talking about. Good people, no doubt, but for them AA is a support group, nothing more. I guess it is good that we can be that for them, but I am a real alcoholic and am beyond human aid. I need more than a support group or social network.
Then there is the real alcoholic. He can't take it or leave it. And what seperates him from the first two is that once he starts drinking he loses control over the amount he takes and then he can't stay away from alcohol no matter what. When he is sober, life is untenable, he makes heavy going of living, as the book says. Eventually this leads back to active alcoholism or even suicide.
Chapter 3 describes the states of mind sober that bring the alcoholic back to a drink. Chapter 4 talks about the spiritual problem and what the solution is. Take a look at page 52, the "bedevilments," or human problems. Do you suffer from these problems sober? When you aren't high on pot? Does drinking or smoking pot take the edge off and make it easier to get along in the world? I will say that these are human problems, not alcoholic problems. Most of the population suffers from these bedevilments to some degree. But this is the condition that the alcoholic can't stand to live in while he is sober. This is the spiritual malady, the problem that must be solved in order to have any kind of meaningful sobriety. Just read these chapters with an open mind.
I don't see your being an atheist as a problem here, dk. First off all we need to diagnose you. Then if you find you are alcoholic, we can look at the spiritual remedy. It has nothing to do with your beliefs. The spiritual problem is more of a living problem, therefore we need a living answer.
By all means pm me if I can be helpful.
Jim
Big Book references from Alcoholics Anonymous, First Edition