thanks all..well, i have an answer...
i asked and he responded with... he has a lot on his plate and that he has to fix the situations that he has ignored for way too long..work, the kids and now the ex wife sounds like she is having a nervous breakdown! things in his life that he has ignored way too long. stating that it doesnt mean he doesnt love me or still not want me to be his girlfriend and that im not a pattern -he is.
he says he is sorry if i have to take a back seat to this but he has to do this right or he's going to end up where he was which is no where & he doesn't have any more strikes left in him. "If I fail again I don't think I will be able to come back from it."
i told him i get it but it still hurts me. naturally, he cant respond because he can only be selfish and i never want him to go back to the bottle so i have to do as he asks for him to save himself. my mind understands his rationalization but my heart doesnt. we have been in a committed relationship because he wanted it and now im back burner girl. im trying to understand and find solice.
i think i need alanon today for sure!!!