hi and welcome to SR, you might want to post this at Friends and Family of Alcoholics also to see if you get people connecting with you, living your side of this. I am pretty new here but I think you would get better responses from people who are affected by the alcoholic. I am an alcoholic recovering and I know I am distant and trying to take care of me. But he also is too..so ??? lots of pain with this is all I can say. Try the friends and family of alcoholics also. Good luck