Hi soarin, always good to see a new member on SR, glad you're here.
Of course I was scared. Very scared, frightened, fearful. I didn't know how I would live without alcohol.
I sat at AA meetings for months, shaking and spilling coffee all over myself, wanting the fear to go away. But I learned that it didn't go away when I put the bottle down, I had to work on my recovery and take the steps necessary to have a clean and sober life. So I held on tight to my chair at those meetings and didn't leave. Eventually I found a sponsor and starting taking the 12 Steps.
3 1/2 years later, here's where it led me.........
The AA Promises
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not.
They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
They will always materialize if we work for them.
Alcoholics Anonymous p83-84