The D Word
It's been a long time since I posted here. I now wish that I had resolved to do then what I have resolved to do now.
I think I'm absolutely insane given the number of chances I've given her and the times I've thought about doing this....or even started but then backed off. Somehow I couldn't just bring myself to it.
I hope this time I'll have the strength to carry through.
My AW and I have been married for 7 years. We have a 6 year old son with mild autism. When I met my wife, she had 7 years of sobriety and seemed very strong in her sobriety.... she could have alcohol in the house, be around people who were drinking... didn't phase her in the least.
That all changed 5 years ago when she started drinking. It's been a nightmare roller-coaster ride ever since then. My life savings are nearly exhausted..... my sanity is frayed and I won't even talk about my emotions.
Thank god my son has been spared alot of this.....as he doesn't fully understand whats going on with his mom... just that she acts crazy sometimes.
I tried putting her through rehab.... it failed miserably.
I tried Mediation with her..... it was a colossal waste.
I'm finally ready for divorce...I'm speaking to the lawyer on Thursday.
I'm scared as heck about the next few months of my life.....and about being a single parent of an autistic child.
I thought about staying....whether it would be easier to raise our son...even if she were still drinking..... but I know that's just a pipe-dream on my part. The simple fact of the matter is that the times she has been away (rehab, mental health evaluation).... life was MUCH easier in many ways....although it certainly was scary.
Some-one please tell me there is a light somewhere at the end of this tunnel!